I just can’t get back up. How many times can a person get knocked down in one life and not break? I want to go home so badly. I want to see my Matt’s freckles and hug my Riley. But there’s nowhere to go and I’m out of moves. Once I’m home I can apply … Continue reading Out of moves
When he left the house after hurting me, I warned him that I would call the police if he returned. He must have known me better than I knew myself, and sometime in the middle of the night he broke in through the door that I had barricaded. Panic and fear were not good defensive architects, … Continue reading The Kind Man I Love
Dear Mom, This isn’t because there’s something wrong with me, which is what you and Kirsten would like to believe; what soothes you to believe so that your consciences don’t bother you. It’s because the load on me has been too much for too long, and in your Barbecue Becky White Woman Entitlement you can’t … Continue reading Kirsten and Mom
In the past few weeks, I’ve had a clarity of mind that I pray continues. It’s the freedom of PTSD symptoms that’s done it, but the absence of those symptoms doesn’t mean the absence of pain. PTSD is what my brain has been doing, which is very different from what my brain has been thinking … Continue reading PTSD mind barf
This post was going to explain why I’m in the UK, what my school status is, and why I’m struggling with the path that I’m on. But I find that in figuring out my wording, I’ve figured out my solution. Let’s talk about my solution, instead. This MSc program was meant to lead me towards … Continue reading Working artist (Nottingham Part 2).
Growing up, we were always told not to hang our dirty laundry in public. It’s a good rule, except when what’s going on at home is more sinister than the run-of-the-mill messes that most families work through. Sometimes, it’s what bullies tell their children so that they are never held responsible for their abusive behaviors, … Continue reading Dirty laundry
I think that I’m in the wrong place. Please spare me any reassurances that I’m exactly where I need to be or that everything happens for a reason; those are pithy sayings printed on pastel placards intended to be hung in the bathrooms of suburbia by those who aren’t ultimately responsible for the bills that … Continue reading Nottingham, part 1
It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? A lifetime. I’ll begin in the middle and apologize in advance for the lack of background information. There is a hint of sunlight at the edge of the forest for the first time in a long time, and I have no desire to turn back towards the darkness … Continue reading Three days
Darlings, I must start writing again. With the five children and the career and the husband and the life swirling around me, my concentration is not good. I’m very much doing that whole young family thing all over again, but now I’m old enough to know how well my head can work when all these … Continue reading Well. My goodness.
There is so much I want to tell you. I want to tell you all about sapphires, and I want to respond to Crystal’s comment saying that she’d like to hear more about my new blended family, and I want to tell you all about what I am doing in the studio. But I am … Continue reading Blue Sapphire Ring