Working on this painting (below), listening to this, headed to Mass at 12:15. This afternoon I’ll finish some custom pieces, and maybe post photos of how the painting is progressing. Maybe, blogosphere. I promise you nothing.
Sometimes a painting flies out of me (figuratively not literally, because that would really hurt. In fact, if paintings literally flew out of me then I’d probably stop painting, because ew. ). Sometimes a piece deserves abandoning: once you get started it just does not pull together, and the concept or idea is weak and not worth pursuing. And sometimes–like this time– the concept is deeply compelling, yet the piece is really hard to get.
The newly abandoned painting was a progression of the one I did for Vinnie.
One night, Vinnie and I were talking about the nature of the universe, and I said that trying to understand the universe made me want to cry. It was too much, too big, too complex, too indefinable. Vinnie said that understanding the nature of the universe through string theory made sense to him, and that he found it quite reassuring and beautiful. Curious, I set out to understand string theory. And because I am me, I felt the need to process this concept visually.
“But you can’t draw string theory,” said Vinnie. “It’s a concept.“
Oh Vinnie, concepts are meant to be drawn, painted, sculpted. That’s what art is: visual communication where words fail.
Vinnie’s painting, then, was about connectedness; about emotional string theory. It was about the almost spiritual feeling of being gently connected to another entity within endless planes and dimensions within endless time and space. To paraphrase Rick in Casablanca, “of all the gin joints in all the world…” What are the odds of that connection? What an amazing thing, and yes, how very reassuring and beautiful.
In the second painting I wanted to explore the multi-planed individual components of Vinnie’s painting further, but…… but I can’t f***ing make it work, blogosphere! Honestly, I think the subject is just too emotionally loaded for me at the moment; my feelings about it change day-to-day and moment-to-moment, and so I can’t find clarity in either my head OR this work. Confused and yet compelled to clarify my thoughts and the work, I’ve gone at the painting from every direction, and to no avail.
And so…… that painting is out–placed out of sight and out of my mind– and this one is in. Interestingly, today’s painting is one I abandoned in frustration once before. Perhaps there is something for me to learn here: understanding and resolution will come when they will, and not a moment sooner.
I hate life lessons.