Don’t be stupid, don’t die

14 Jan

Listen closely. Do you hear that voice?  The one saying, “Cam, please be careful! Please?”

That’s me.

This is what my parenting has been reduced to: urging boys to be careful. That’s it.   I feed them and implore them not to be too stupid;  not to die.  This might seem like a small job, but any teenage boy will tell you that being stupid and almost dying is the teenage boy’s goal.

What the video doesn’t show is me, moments before, calling out the window:

“Who’s on the bike?  Is that Cam?”

“Yes M’am!”  Said Cam, who is a very nice boy.

“Oh Cam, honey, I thought you were smart.”  I said to Cam, who is very smart.

“No, I’m stupid!”  Cam answered, and all the other boys cheered.

What you see, above, is what they did all day, only pausing to have a contest to determine who could stand outside in their bare feet the longest.

You might think that the purpose of sledding is to go down a hill as fast as you can, but you’d be wrong.  The purpose of sledding is to see who can most dramatically and inventively come closest to fracturing their skull, and if I had a dollar for every time I called out, “I DO NOT want to go to the hospital today,” I’d be a wealthy woman.

Be careful, don’t be too stupid, don’t die:  It’s more work than you think.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

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4 Responses to “Don’t be stupid, don’t die”

  1. Carol January 15, 2011 at 3:20 pm #

    And we wonder why when they finally grow up we have gray hair!

    • vakadesign January 15, 2011 at 6:27 pm #

      From now on I’m threatening them with a SLOVAK hospital, so I think it’s all going to be just fine. Slovakian children are known for their call and respectful behavior, I’m sure of it!

  2. The Expatresse January 15, 2011 at 4:46 am #

    One advantage to living in Central/Eastern Europe was the ability to hiss “Do you want to go to a SLOVAK hospital today???”

    • vakadesign January 15, 2011 at 11:24 am #

      That’s it- that’s my new thing! From this moment on, I’m not going to simply inform them that I don’t want to go to the ER, I’m going to threaten them with a SLOVAK hospital.

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