Things I’m sick of

18 Jun

1.  Obama facilitating in leu of leading.  Dude, I hate to say it, but we need a decider.  Barack,  I’m serious.  You’re officially on my nerves, so enough with the studies and the committees.  Less talk, more action.  And all those things we voted you in to do?  Do them.  Do SOMETHING.

2. Fox News. Are you people living in the same world as the rest of us?  You frighten me.

3.  Religious superiority.   What makes you more right than anyone else?

4.  Cleaning my house.   Perhaps it’s not so much the cleaning, as the continuous dirtying that’s fixin’ to irritate me.

5.  Being broke.   I won’t regret doing right by my children, I won’t regret doing right by my children.  I’ll repeat it like a mantra every time my bank balance sickens me.

6.  Not having health insurance.

7.   Porn stars.   Naked beach soccer in celebration of the World Cup.  Really?  Your enormous fake boobs freak me out, and you’re going to get sand in your culie.

8.  Lack of sex.   Seriously, I’m wasting some good years, here.

9.  The wrinkles under my eyes.  Now, if I’d been having really good sex while I got these wrinkles, I might feel differently.  In fact, really good sex might make everything on this list less irritating.  Good sex might make this day less irritating, and it might also make my headache go away.  If I were having really good sex right this minute,  I don’t think I’d care that my kitchen looks like a blast zone, and I might also be much less annoyed by those nakie soccer-playing porn stars.  I think we’ve identified the real problem.

10.  The unknown.  Like, when is the good sex going to start?  And of course, the health insurance, the money, the future….blah, blah….what about the sex?

xxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxx

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8 Responses to “Things I’m sick of”

  1. nightman1 August 20, 2010 at 7:24 pm #

    At the risk of sounding like a dick Vaka, have you set your sites too high, perhaps, as you seek to identify men you might like? I am watching someone in her 30s do that now. She is very pretty, very intelligent, and very…well…just plain “nice”. Yet she is having trouble finding husband #2. For long, long, weeks I pondered this mystery. Someone should have grabbed her within few months after her divorce!

    And then I considered this:

    1. The same hunky men who got all the girls in high school and college may well be her objectives now. That would be very natural.

    2. But at her and their age those men have all been married once, and many are now gunshy of commitment.

    3. She appears to be gunshy of commitment.

    Not a recipe for success!

    Instead my friend should, IMHO, turn her gaze away from the Same Old Hunks to the flawed gentlemen who are not yet married at 35. They are NOT gunshy. They are the opposite–eager to be brought down by love’s arrow.

    I know. I was one of those dweeby fellows 30 years ago. I was nice. I looked OK but was short. I made a very good living. If someone like her had entered my life she would have been the greatest gift fate could have given me, bar none.

    And if someone like her had shown any interest in me I would have…er…jumped on the opportunity–and thereafter cherished her as a precious gift fate had bestowed upon me.

    See anyone like that in your locale Vaka?

    • vakadesign October 1, 2010 at 9:10 am #

      Hmmm….Why the assumption that I am “seek[ing] to identify men you [I] might like?”

      I think there is a common misconception that all women want to marry. Marrying or partnering up is not a goal for me. It the right man comes along, then I’d consider it. But partnering for the sake of partnering? That would be hell on Earth.

  2. David June 30, 2010 at 1:14 pm #

    I think you stole my list! I live in the middle of number 3, aka the Bible Belt. I think Fox news fuels the religious/political fervor that exists here. Numbers 7, 8 and 9 seem to be related. After looking through your blog I find it hard to believe you’re not dating as many men as you want. Maybe the honesty scares them away, or there’s something you’re not telling us… Even as a married man I find you can work your way back around to number 8 if you’re not paying attention.

    Anyway, good luck with that, and thanks for sharing; it makes me feel more “normal” -D

    • vakadesign July 1, 2010 at 7:00 pm #

      Oy, do not get me started on the bible belt today!

      “Maybe the honesty scares them away, or there’s something you’re not telling us… ” The honesty has been known to cause freak-outs, but the third arm growing out of my back does not help at all.

  3. Maruska Morena June 20, 2010 at 8:21 pm #

    Absolutely love this post. 🙂

    Btw.. dating again sucks.. I’m told its worth it though. I found going to interesting co-ed groups (like a shared activity or happy hour group) to be the best way to smoothly transition back into dating.

  4. michael June 19, 2010 at 9:31 am #

    Hmmm, try promiscuity on for a bit. Just because you’ve sworn off long-term partners does not mean you must needs do without. Also, doing it that way makes you open to the ‘cuter’ ‘younger’ guys.

    I found it helped loads having a couple partners in promiscuity during college. Having some good releases prior to a test day really helps the focus, improves confidence, and in my experience equites to excellent grades. If anything, it helped them more, besides there is actual research that can back up the ideas that ‘getting some’ as a woman improves your overall performance(like that’s a surprise).

    Anyways, have fun.

    • vakadesign June 19, 2010 at 6:22 pm #

      Honestly, I envy those women who can detach emotion from sex, I just know myself well enough to know I’m not one of them! I tend to not find men attractive until I get to know them; until I feeeeel something for them. It’s inconvenient.

      I would LOVE to be one of those women who are all, “Baby, you’re coming home with me. I needs me a man, and you’re it! ” And then later? Be all, “yeah, that was nice, but you should go know.” In my very rich fantasy life I’m a female version of Tim Meadows, and I need a nice, lovely man who loves me to let me pick him up in a bar and play out that fantasy over a bottle of Courvoisier. How’s that for sexual irony: I need a committed partner to play out my slutty fantasies.

      I probably just need to get my confidence back up, and then start dating again. *sigh* 😉

      • michael June 20, 2010 at 7:05 am #

        Hmmm, well, my deal in college was not particularly random. You could meet someone you like as friends, then ‘ruin’ that friendship. No pressure, and no stress. The “friend zone” is an American superstition.

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