I need to be taller

17 Jun

I seriously need to talk about my boobs.   They seem to be expanding by the minute, and I blame this, genetically, on my Mommom:  Maryclaire of the Huge Honkin’ Rack.

Much of my life has been spent propping the girls up just so, but recently it’s been less about propping and more about crowd control.  I’ve gained five pounds this year, bringing the weight I carry on my 5’3″ frame to 124.   People,  I’m not a big person,  and although I’ve always been a bit busty, the 32E’s I’m now sporting seem a bit disproportionate.

Nothing fits, and June is busting out all over.  I feel like a ten pound ham in a five pound can.  And!  Now that my hair is in a pixie cut, my boobs are officially as big as my head.  It’s not a look I was going for.

But, here’s the thing!  A five pound weight gain should NOT equate to a two cup size increase, should it?   What the Chuck, Farley?  A bit of the weight is sitting here, and a bit there….that doesn’t leave enough to account for the big bazonkas I’m now trying to keep corralled inside my shirt.  Mathematically, this doesn’t make sense.

I need to be taller.

xxxxxxxxx

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5 Responses to “I need to be taller”

  1. dw June 18, 2010 at 12:19 pm #

    Hey, 32DD (or is it 32E?) over here! Wanna know what I do to tame the wild beasts?

    Running/jogging bras. By Champion. Every single day. Always.

    http://www.championusa.com/Champion/Products/Women-Champion/Women_ShopByCategory-Champion/Women_PlusSize-Champion/CH072.aspx

    Not sexy AT ALL, but oh so comforting and looks great in t-shirts, etc. Besides, if you’re not getting any nooky (see today’s post), who cares who sees it?

  2. victorias_view June 17, 2010 at 7:16 pm #

    OMG! I thought I was the only one with the honkering boobs! I think they grew a size overnight and my cleavage was over the edge in my v-neck. But I have finally accepted my girls for who they are and keep telling myself many would pay to have them. The only thing we can do is embrace our assests and make them work with a little shimy, shake, and then a cha cha cha!

  3. Vanessa June 17, 2010 at 12:28 pm #

    You poor thing! Want to swap? My c’s are shrinking by the day, and now I’m down to a b+ on my 5’9″ frame! Talk about ridiculous! I’m convinced this is Gaia’s revenge for me not wanting children. Vindictive bitch.

  4. Veronica M June 17, 2010 at 12:20 pm #

    LOL! Wow, 32E on your frame must be pretty impressive. I’m sure your male readers would appreciate pics to go along with this post. 😉 I’m sure any man you date wouldn’t complain, but you could always get a breast reduction. I think I’d just buy a bunch of low-cut tops and show them off b/c that’s how I roll-LOL!

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