An open letter to those who created the security-disabling Trojan that attacked my computer, causing me to spend days salvaging files and installing a new operating system:
Dear Evil Code Boy,
Everything is fine now, and in time I’ll forget about this.
But someday your Mom will die and float her way up to Heaven’s gates, where she’ll meet Saint Peter. Your sweet Mom will stand quietly, humbly, peacefully before him, as Saint Peter sits at his Heavenly desk, searching for her file on his Heavenly PC.
But her file won’t be there, will it? Because years before, a terrible Trojan destroyed many of Saint Peter’s files on his previous computer. Poof, they were gone. Who knows what files never made it into the new system?
Nice going, asshat. Now your Mom can’t get into Heaven. You are going to be in so much trouble.