I’m glad I’m not a duck

17 Dec

Things Karen has said recently:

xxxxxxx

“I saw a woman today who I desperately wanted to take bra shopping.  Katie, her breasts were down to her elbows.  It made me sad.  It made me want to go over and adjust her bra straps. If I lived in the northeast I’d be adjusting stranger’s bras all over the place.”

xxxxxxx

“You’re always so shocked by how dark your hair is, and then you worry that it looks fake.  You don’t ever worry that anything else looks so good it looks fake.  I’ve never once heard you say, ‘My breasts are so perky that everyone thinks they’re fake.  I’m going to start strapping them down.’  You never say that.”

xxxxxxxxx

“I read something very disturbing today.  About ducks.  Did you know that male ducks have corkscrew-shaped penises?! And, the female ducks have corkscrew-shaped vaginas, but the corkscrew goes the other way.  In fact, duck vaginas are quite complicated with extra twists and turns and even dead ends.  I’m glad I’m not a duck.”

“You know I’m going to write about this, right?”

“Don’t say I just  started talking about duck penises!  You have to say what led up to it.”

“You did just start talking about duck penises!”

“Oh.  Oh…….I guess I did.”

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11 Responses to “I’m glad I’m not a duck”

  1. Jimazing December 19, 2009 at 2:03 pm #

    What a great neighborhood to live in!

  2. vakadesign December 18, 2009 at 7:22 pm #

    When you google images for “duck penises corkscrew,” the search engine pulls up a pageful of duck genitals, and one picture of Barbara Walters.

    Curious.

    • Karen December 20, 2009 at 10:23 am #

      You can never be bored around here, can you Jim?

    • Karen December 22, 2009 at 9:46 am #

      Is there something we should know about Barbara Walters, perhaps??

  3. Lori December 18, 2009 at 3:25 pm #

    “…bra straps”
    “…so good it looks fake”
    “…corkscrew-shaped penises”

    Now I know where to find GREAT entertainment.
    LOVE IT!
    Want to come over for a cup of coffee???

    • vakadesign December 22, 2009 at 3:49 pm #

      I could put up so many posts like this one! There really aren’t many subject limits around here!

      When shall we have that coffee? =)

  4. dullgeek December 18, 2009 at 2:50 pm #

    I was curious about the duck thing and found this from national geographic: http://3.ly/GYS. It’s difficult not to anthropomorphize a bit and imagine what runs through the minds of these male ducks. I found it funny.

    • vakadesign December 18, 2009 at 3:19 pm #

      I think this is my favorite line in the article:

      “Our best guess is that the birds use [the long penis] as a kind of lasso,” McCracken said.

  5. Karen December 18, 2009 at 12:19 pm #

    Really, now. You make it sound so much worse than it is.

  6. The Expatresse December 18, 2009 at 2:18 am #

    Ha ha ha ha ha!

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