This blog has about a gazillion views a day. Well, maybe a bit less than a gazillion. Let’s just say a tatillion. BUT! I have not received a tatillion entries to my Monsterbling Contest (which ends TODAY). And why not? Because, as we established yesterday, you are all drunk. And lazy. A bunch of lazy drunks, I just know it. And freebasers. I don’t even really understand what freebasing is, but I know that’s what you’re all doing.
I am having a perfectly nice party, and some of you are not being good guests. I’m totally holding my breath until my email@example.com mailbox says I have a tatillion emails in there. Then you’ll be sorry, you lazy drunken freebasers.