Personal Entries

Some crack with your wine?

Karen and I combined our WonderTwin powers, and together we made dinner for our families on Saturday night.

We made meatball subs; I made a quick homemade sauce, Karen threw together some turkey meatballs.  We uncorked a bottle of wine while we cooked, toasted some sub rolls, threw on some provolone, bang!  Done.


The inexpensive bottle Karen picked up at Trader Joe’s, Chariot’s 2007 Gypsy, ended up being a nice little wine.  Although I enjoy wines, I’d be pulling things out of my heinie if I started describing this wine as a winophile would.  I do not know which fruit it smelled like, and what started and finished where; it’s a six dollar bottle of wine, do we really need to describe it that way?  It was an easy, simple wine.   Perfect for everyday; pizza and pasta and meatball subs.

I’ve encouraged Jake to try the different wines and the nicer beers I buy.  I want my kids to see these beverages as a normal part of meals; something that, when used in a mature way, compliments food.  To further kill any joy he might ever find in cheap kegs of college beer, I push Jake to discuss the attributes and differences in the beers and wines I ask him to try.   I really want to set my children up to fail as binge drinkers.

Karen pours Jake a bit of the Gypsy, and when I urge him to try it, explaining that this is a nice little table wine, he rolls his eyes.

“You’ve made me try red wine before, do I have to?”

“This is different!  Please?  If you’ll ever like a red wine, this one will be it.  It’s….easy.”

“It’s not like that Chianti you made me try?”

I’m so proud!  He remembers the Chianti!  Among all the wines he didn’t want to try and hated, it stands out as the worst.

“Try it,” I say, “try, like, five sips.  Roll it around in your mouth.”

He rolls his eyes as Karen commiserates, “Just do it, dude.  She’s not going to leave you alone until you do. ”

He does.   On the first sip he makes this face:

wine face

The second and third sips go better, and by the fourth he tells me that the wine is OK.  It’s better than the others he’s tried.

“Can you taste that it’s not as dry?”


“Can you feel the difference on the back of your tongue?”


Always amused by these moments, Riley has been watching and commenting on Jake’s torture, and asks if he can try the wine, too.  He’s turning thirteen this month, so….sure.  He may have a sip.  I know he’ll hate it, so this will work out well.

Sure enough, Ri thinks the wine is disgusting.

“But is there something else I can have that will look like wine?”  He asks.

“You mean, so it looks like you’re walking around drinking a glass of wine?”

“Yeah!  Like juice, or something?”

“Sure,” I say,  “That’s a great idea.  In fact….” I turn to Karen, ” Karen, could we roll him a joint to go with his wine?”

“Suuuree!”  Says Karen. “I know I have that marijuana around here somewhere….”

“Or.  OR!”  I say, “What about some crack?  Do you still have that Playskool toy crack pipe from when your kids were little?”

“Hmm….I just might!  I don’t know where it is, but I’ll look…..”

I turn to Ri, ” Give us a minute, Ri, we’ll get right on that.”


One thought on “Some crack with your wine?

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