Canada, Canada, Canada. I’m shaking my head already, and you haven’t even done anything. Yet.
Yesterday, Shmarla commented that the upcoming Monsterbling Contest might offer you a chance to redeem yourself. You know what I’m talking about Canada, don’t you? I’m referring to The Bad Ring Contest of last spring, when I didn’t see a single entry from the entire country of Canada.
That wasn’t nice, Canada. It was as if I threw a neighborhood picnic and you, my next door neighbors, didn’t attend. Not only did you not attend, you didn’t even RSVP, and then you came outside and sat on your patio and pretended my picnic wasn’t going on.
I know you’re there, Canada. My blog stats tell me you’re reading this blog, and another, less well-adjusted goldsmith might have taken your lack of participation personally. I don’t tend to take things personally; I think this is a Canada-owned problem. It’s not me, it’s you.
In the spring, one Canadian reader wrote to suggest that maybe Canada was just too nice to enter The Bad Ring contest. OK. I hear you. You are an exceedingly well-mannered nation, and perhaps it was too much to ask you to condemn and insult a piece of jewelry in order to participate in the contest. Perhaps your Canadian minds just don’t think like that (but Australia? Wow! Wowwy wow, wow, wow).
But Canada, I do want you to know I was thinking of you when I created the Monsterbling Contest. All you need to do is draw a monster, sculpt a monster, paint a monster; whatever! And you’re in. Drawing monsters is in your lexicon of acceptable behaviors, isn’t it?
I did my research and found that Canadian folklore is full of monsters! Monsters everywhere! You can’t throw a hockey puck without hitting a monster! You have lutins in Quebec, furry fish, sea and lake serpents, Old Yellow Top and Waheela. You’ve done quite well for yourselves in the monster department, and so I know you have it in you, Canada.
Let’s put The Bad Ring contest behind us and work together. I have a pretty pendant, you have a wealth of Canuk-y minds full of monster-creativity; let’s make a little magic, ok?
I love you Canada. Let’s work this out.