Stones · Studio

Jesus hates fossil coral

Karen called me, excited, because one of my vendors had just posted their new stones.  New stones!  We love new stones, right?  Right!

Our professional take on some of the gems we perused:


Strawberry Quartz
Strawberry Quartz

“This strawberry quartz looks like a murder scene.” Karen tells me. ” It looks like somebody exploded.    And the other one that kind of freaks me out is the bloodstone. Those bright spots of red,  it looks like the stone is wounded.”

“Do you think that may be why they call it Bloodstone?” I ask,   “some people dig that.”



“Well, the coral looks like salmon,” says Karen

“It has the same look…… It would look like you’ve set a teeny tiny salmon steak.”



 “Now this is a neat one…..Charoite, kind of a creamy purple.”

“Oh, Karen that’s horrible!  It looks like a half-eaten gob stopper!”

“It does look like a Tums.”



 “Clinohumite sounds like a gynecological problem.,” I say,”it’s a pretty orange but….”

“It does, it sounds like something you might need some yogurt for.”


Fossil Coral
Fossil Coral

 “Fossil coral……this one gives me the creeps,” I say, ” Ew Ew EW!  It gives me the heebie jeebies!”

“It looks like egg sacks.”

“It looks like these worms we used to have on the dock up in Maine–”

“Yes!” says Karen, ” we had them at the lake, they look like they’re made up of cells.  I remember brushing up against them and practically walking on water to get out of the lake fast enough.”

“Just like Jesus!  Jesus must hate fossil coral.”



“Here’s the one,” I say, “that looks like petrified snot…..Sphene.”

“Oh, it sure does.  It’s probably from the same age as amber.  It’s probably petrified dinosaur snot.”

“You’d think they’d market it as such,” I say, “that might be a good selling point.”

“Maybe not as much as we think.”



“Huh, ” Karen said. ” I don’t know how I feel about this.”

“Which one?”  I asked.

“The rhodochrosite.  The pink is sort of a raw, fleshy color.  It looks like a cross section of tissue.”

“Ew!”  I say, as I scroll through the new selection of rhodochrosite.  “It does.  It looks like tissue samples.”

“It looks like I’m looking at row after row of things that need to be biopsied.”


6 thoughts on “Jesus hates fossil coral

  1. Well now I currently have a necklace for sale made with bloodstone….and I also have used rhodochrosite too. But I must admit..the pics of the ones you guys commented on were pretty horrible. Especially the strawberry quartz. ew

  2. It makes you realize WHY some of there stones are so obscure. WHO has ever heard of sphene, for crying out loud? Or rhodochrosite? Nobody — cause almost nobody uses them. And who named these anyway? I think I would have gone with “boogerite” and “medical issue-ite”. We should rename the strawberry quartz (how sweet-sounding) to “homocite”. Just sayin.

    1. Don’t we see in others that which we are most afraid of being, ourselves? You’re a bit focused on murder, mayhem and tissue samples, aren’tcha there, KCar? I’m picking up on a theme, and now I’m kind of afraid to be alone with you.

      I seem to see parasites and snot, and I’m really not sure what that says about me.

    1. I LOVE amber, and the stuff inside? Totally cool! It’s just stones that look like……..snot, tissue samples, parasites…. Not that there’s anything wrong with snot, tissue samples and parasites!

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