Jesus hates fossil coral

28 Sep

Karen called me, excited, because one of my vendors had just posted their new stones.  New stones!  We love new stones, right?  Right!

Our professional take on some of the gems we perused:

 

Strawberry Quartz

Strawberry Quartz

Bloodstone

Bloodstone

“This strawberry quartz looks like a murder scene.” Karen tells me. ” It looks like somebody exploded.    And the other one that kind of freaks me out is the bloodstone. Those bright spots of red,  it looks like the stone is wounded.”

“Do you think that may be why they call it Bloodstone?” I ask,   “some people dig that.”

 

Coral

Coral

“Well, the coral looks like salmon,” says Karen

“It has the same look…… It would look like you’ve set a teeny tiny salmon steak.”

 

Charoite

Charoite

 “Now this is a neat one…..Charoite, kind of a creamy purple.”

“Oh, Karen that’s horrible!  It looks like a half-eaten gob stopper!”

“It does look like a Tums.”

 

Clinohumite

Clinohumite

 “Clinohumite sounds like a gynecological problem.,” I say,”it’s a pretty orange but….”

“It does, it sounds like something you might need some yogurt for.”

 

Fossil Coral

Fossil Coral

 “Fossil coral……this one gives me the creeps,” I say, ” Ew Ew EW!  It gives me the heebie jeebies!”

“It looks like egg sacks.”

“It looks like these worms we used to have on the dock up in Maine–”

“Yes!” says Karen, ” we had them at the lake, they look like they’re made up of cells.  I remember brushing up against them and practically walking on water to get out of the lake fast enough.”

“Just like Jesus!  Jesus must hate fossil coral.”

 

Sphene
Sphene

“Here’s the one,” I say, “that looks like petrified snot…..Sphene.”

“Oh, it sure does.  It’s probably from the same age as amber.  It’s probably petrified dinosaur snot.”

“You’d think they’d market it as such,” I say, “that might be a good selling point.”

“Maybe not as much as we think.”

 

Rhodochrosite

Rhodochrosite

“Huh, ” Karen said. ” I don’t know how I feel about this.”

“Which one?”  I asked.

“The rhodochrosite.  The pink is sort of a raw, fleshy color.  It looks like a cross section of tissue.”

“Ew!”  I say, as I scroll through the new selection of rhodochrosite.  “It does.  It looks like tissue samples.”

“It looks like I’m looking at row after row of things that need to be biopsied.”

 

www.vakadesign.com

Advertisements

6 Responses to “Jesus hates fossil coral”

  1. Carla September 29, 2009 at 11:14 am #

    Well now I currently have a necklace for sale made with bloodstone….and I also have used rhodochrosite too. But I must admit..the pics of the ones you guys commented on were pretty horrible. Especially the strawberry quartz. ew

  2. nightman1 September 29, 2009 at 9:51 am #

    OMG. wit!

    How little of it there is, and how precious!

  3. Karen September 29, 2009 at 8:20 am #

    It makes you realize WHY some of there stones are so obscure. WHO has ever heard of sphene, for crying out loud? Or rhodochrosite? Nobody — cause almost nobody uses them. And who named these anyway? I think I would have gone with “boogerite” and “medical issue-ite”. We should rename the strawberry quartz (how sweet-sounding) to “homocite”. Just sayin.

    • vakadesign September 29, 2009 at 8:57 am #

      Don’t we see in others that which we are most afraid of being, ourselves? You’re a bit focused on murder, mayhem and tissue samples, aren’tcha there, KCar? I’m picking up on a theme, and now I’m kind of afraid to be alone with you.

      I seem to see parasites and snot, and I’m really not sure what that says about me.

  4. rimarama September 28, 2009 at 11:09 pm #

    This has made me look at stones in a totally different way.

    P.S. My mom used to have a piece of amber with a petrified ant in it. It was super cool.

    • vakadesign September 28, 2009 at 11:19 pm #

      I LOVE amber, and the stuff inside? Totally cool! It’s just stones that look like……..snot, tissue samples, parasites…. Not that there’s anything wrong with snot, tissue samples and parasites!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: