Personal Entries

Purge and cry

Last night I arrived at Valerie’s house with the intention of staying just one night and leaving for North Carolina in the morning.  I went to bed last night in my Goddaughter Molly’s very pink and girly bed with my spirits lower than they have been in a long, long time. I didn’t really know why I was so low, but just that I felt vaguely horrible.  Unlovable, hopeless, unsuccessful and unattractive, and I’m positive my hair is all falling out.  I just know it.  I’m not being alarmist or anything.  Not at all.

This morning I had a good purge and cry on Val’s shoulder, and in barfing out my thoughts I realized it has been an incredibly hard week and I’m exhausted.

I feel slightly less unsuccessful and unlovable now, and I have a bit more hope.  Valerie has convinced me to stay one more night, and we’re going to go to the pool and be lazy all afternoon, make satay chicken and raita for dinner, and have a little peace.  Also, Valerie is certain I’m not going bald.  I love her.

My brave neighbors have kindly agreed to take care of that Damn Cat one more day, and so I’ll head home tomorrow.


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