Karen hates Scotland

4 May

I’m saddened, as Karen is more than a reader, but also a friend, and usually an open-minded lass.

Sunday Videos created an oppurtunity for Karen to show her Anti-Scots leanings, of which I was not previously aware.

This weekend, while watching 80’s music videos, Jake realized that teenage hair was a lot more fun 20 years ago, and he decided his tame look needed an overhaul. As we finished the Sunday Videos post featuring R.E.M., Jake announced he was getting a mohawk, and jokingly added that a Michael Stipe-esque eye stripe would be just the thing to finish the look. And then he threw in that he’d be wearing a kilt with this look, too. I don’t know where that came from.

I mentioned Jake’s look in the post, and told my readers Jake would be happy for color/placement suggestions for his Stipe Stripe.

First, Karen was very helpful, suggesting in the comments section:

Perhaps he could combine the two: shave the entire head, EXCEPT for the very front of the hairline, leaving a horizontal strip of hair about an inch wide all the way across the front of the forehead. With a bit more length 3-4″ (and judicious use of hair product) you could cultivate a hair stripe to fall over the forehead and eyes.

Which could then be spliced into the beard at a future date.

I felt this was a great idea, and I passed it along to Jake. I responded to Karen’s comment with my own:

Maybe dye the hair stripe…….Jake is thinking he might also like to explore wearing a kilt (breeze on the manliness and all), and so we need to keep in mind plaid, too

And then Karen showed her true colors, and commented:

Yes indeed, when I picture a fellow with a hair fringe/eye stripe/mohawk combo, in a kilt no less — personal items dancing in the breeze — MANLY is the first word that pops into MY head!

What an impression he could make on new acquaintances!

I believe Karen has just mocked not only William Wallace and his brave army of painted freedom fighters, but the very cornerstone of Scots history: the Picts with their painted faces. And to that I say, why do you have to hate on William Wallace? Why do you have to go there? Why malign the Picts? The Scots are proud, as they have every right to be, of their strong and brave heritage; of their plaid, of their fight for independence. Karen has intimated that a Scotsman proudly wearing his kilt is anything but manly; she implies he is not a man at all.

I’m always pleased when a reader seems to be following along, and it seems Karen has been, with her allusion to beards and kilts in previous posts, and on that? Keep up the good work, Karen!

But I’d like to distance myself from her harsh commentary of Scotland’s great history. I admire the Scottish people, their spirit and intelligence, and their beautiful country, even if one of my readers does not. Scotland is number one on my list of places I’ve always wanted to visit, and I’m just waiting for an opportunity to do so.

My darling readers, I hope you will join me in condemning Karen’s small-mindedness.

www.vakadesign.com

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5 Responses to “Karen hates Scotland”

  1. Jean May 4, 2009 at 1:54 pm #

    Oh Karen, just got a visual with that last comment….hmmm not looking so good, need to poke out my mind’s eye at this point.

    I must so though there is nothing like a man with nice legs in a skirt…….

  2. Karen May 4, 2009 at 1:02 pm #

    I think I can reinforce my case:

    http://www.djbennydfansite.tv/…/benny_d_new_kilt.jpg

    And this guy doesn’t even have a hair stripe. Although I would not be up for making fun of this gentleman to his face. He doesn’t look the type to take it well.

  3. Karen May 4, 2009 at 12:58 pm #

    Besides, you’ve already maligned the entire country of Canada as a single entity! You’re anti-French, aren’t you?

    • vakadesign May 4, 2009 at 1:14 pm #

      I’m just against the country, in general. I love Australia. I just can’t say that enough.

  4. Karen May 4, 2009 at 12:50 pm #

    Speaking as someone who does have some Scottish ancestry, you find me one true Scot, kilt a -swirlin’, who also sports a MOHAWK, and a hairy Stipe-stripe, and who makes it ALL look good, and I will admit defeat.

    It’s more the combination of Scot, Mohican and alternative-rock-star-from-Georgia that I find disconcerting. Rather like combining Paduang neck rings and Nordic braids on a Sumo wrestler. In both cases, it’s the addition of that third variable, I think, that just shoots it all to Hell! 🙂

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