You know, I’ve been trying to warm up to the damn cat. I try to see his good qualities, because my son loves him so much. At the moment I’m struggling with seeing the good.
Yesterday the cat and his life-partner, Naked Build-A-Bear, insisted on going public with their love. As I’ve explained before, I don’t have a problem with their relationship, but I do have a don’t ask/don’t tell policy. Today, though, the cat was insistent upon having a public love-in.
As I worked on the computer, the cat dragged his bear near to me and started making the sweet, sweet love to it. Just no. I picked the bear up and tossed it into another room, only to have the whole act repeated. Drag the bear to me, start with the freaky mojo, I toss the bear, and the whole cycle repeats. Several times. The cat was adamant.
Why? Why did the venue for cat-bear sex need to be right next to me? Does the cat just love his family so much that he wants to be near me? Did I play some kinky part in his cat fantasy? Because, blogosphere, I am really, really, not comfortable with that.
Finally, I picked up the cat and grabbed his sex toy by the ear, took them both upstairs, and shut them in a bedroom. Their passion was such that it couldn’t wait another minute, and after a half hour of cat-moaning, there was silence. A little later, he meowed to be freed from his love shack. I went up, opened the door, and came back down and returned to my work.
Slowly, he dragged the Naked Build-A-Bear downstairs to me, gave it a few post-coital licks, and then flopped, spent, on the floor beside it. A moment later he stood up and vomited, then lay back down and went to sleep.
Sometimes I hate him.