Breasts

15 Apr

After this morning’s post, a reader commented that he would go for a walk, but maybe I should consider a run.   He was not the first to suggest this, and I’m going to be honest about why I will never run. One word: breasts.

I have breasts, and they do not run.  I’m a bit big-chested for my stature, and it hurts when I run.  Yes, yes, I know….a sports bra.   But I’m not going to wear one.  I’m good to the girls, and the girls are good to me. I’ve spent a lot of time and given a lot of thought to propping them up just so, and sports bras do not prop up but batten down, and I don’t care for the battening.

If I needed to go further, I’d have to say that, overall, I just don’t look good when I run.  When I run my face gets intensely red and looks as if it might pop.  I imagine I look like Ted Kennedy, and that can’t be good for my health or my self-esteem.   As a general rule, any exercise which causes others to ask if I am unwell, or makes me resemble any of the Kennedy men?  Not going to be on my to-do list. 

So, my vanity-based response to his suggestion, and to all others who have suggested running?  I just don’t look cute when I run, so my breasts and I don’t go there.

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